One day I realized...

I am married to a girl who still looks at me at times with gazing eyes as if I was a superhero capable of moving tall mountains. Sometimes I'm afraid I will disappoint her. It makes me smile when she's still shy about herself around me. I like when she puts on a dress that softly caresses her body and asks if I like it. She doesn't know how to be pretentious. She can't sew or iron. She makes me go on Sunday morning walks with her. Twenty years and three boys later, one day it dawned on me that there couldn't be a person more important to me.

Collin, the first one is a dreamer. He loves his music, his friends, and his faith. He is stoic but enjoys a good comic book. He is allergic to apples. He makes a honking noise when there is too much dust. In almost anything he finds something funny.

Justin, the middle one, is more serious. He is tall and rugged. Captain of the varsity swim team. He has that swagger about him and he looks good in anything. He's a cool cat. He will be dangerous once he finds himself and realizes what he is capable of.

Ethan, the youngest, loves cooking, bird watching, and baseball. He is passionate about everything. He came home one day complaining that girls in his school were calling him names. I comforted him by saying that's what girls do when they really really like you. Next day he came up to me and said proudly "Dad, I know this girl that really really likes me." "Great! How do you know?" I asked. He replied with a big goofy boastful smile, "Dad, she called me stupid".

As for me, I am amazed. I am amazed that despite myself, I have what I have. I find myself in awe and wonder of the ordinary. I find comfort in my irrelevancy. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But it doesn't seem that important anymore. I sell toys, I write, I practice law, I like working out at five o'clock in the morning and going to the church sanctuary and listen to the soft voices of angels singing.